The barrel of mixed emotions that come with sending the littlest little one to Prep for the very first time .

School became closer to starting back for 2017 & starting all together for my Youngest new little Preppy !

But its more than it just being the First Day Of School !
Its the next stage in her Life "Our Life" !
Its a big thing right ! !

She's now expected to be more mature. 
Not be picked up & cuddled & soothed as much.
She is a big School Girl that should no better when acting out & a pile of other expectations that get put onto the Shoulders of children when they move up into the next stage of Life!

A huge part of me wants to run away to a Beach & raise my Children Home schooled without the stresses & dealings of everyday School life!

I still remember my early School years (well all of them & its bloody hard work) ! 
Dealing with so many emotions and situations at such a young age! 
When life should be carefree & all about who is "it" whilst playing Tiggy & getting Bindys stuck in your bare feet !!

I remember the School yard taunts & being called "Lisa Peza big fat pizza" until i became bigger & became a bully myself to protect myself (which i don't want my children to do ever!!!.

Ya see thats it for me i have a empty nest at home it will  just be me.
And with that comes expectations ! 
What if i don't no what i want to do next ? 
What if its ok to be a SAHM!! 
Why is there so much judgement about everyones life!

A part of me is being selfish & being the one that is going to miss her !
Lacey-jay has been excited & ready its me with my Worrying & stressing about things out of my control..

Im a worrier ! I worry about everything & over analyse the crap out of everything to!

* what if she was bullied
* She's been so sick what if she gets really sick again
* How could she possibly cope without her Mummy
* What if she finds the work load to hard
* How will my free Spirit manage 5days a week inside

For every worry though in my rationale thinking mind i new she would be ok.

*What if she is bullied? = 
Lacey-jay can stick up for herself well & i have no doubt she wouldn't go down without a good fight if need be...
She has confidence + is excellent at making Friends anywhere & everywhere we go (Just like her Dad).

*What if she gets sick again? = 
Lacey-jay could get sick from the supermarket trolley, the Mall, the Park if its going to happen it will happen.

*How would she cope without Mummy? = 
Thats a hard one for me because she is such a Mummy's Girl & always has been but the reality is i need her as much as she needs me..
She will manage just like she has at Kindy i need to have faith.

*What about the work load? = 
Lacey-jay was ready for School last year but was to young to make the catchment so is more than ready this year i no deep down she needs the structure & is ready for that growth.

*How will my free spirited, nature, bug loving child manage 5 days a week inside? = 
Well thats the tough one!
She will struggle & it will be a huge adjudgment but she will soon learn the way..

The love i have for my Children is overpowering & can be all consuming.
I am a self confessed Helicopter Mum (i no some will be cringing at this) but i am & you no what that sits fine with me! 
Thats who i am & how i do things :)

I was determined to hold my fears inside & not express my concerns or worries to Lacey-jay & just be the positive encouraging role model i should be & you no what ??
I did it ! 
No tears from me on the first day! (Don't worry i could have drowned in my own tears in the School week lead up)
We went in with confidence & everything ran smoothly.
Lace had a few tears but they were soon all dried up & she was off away playing with a Buddy.

I am grateful she has got off to a good start with having two great Teachers (The same Prep Teachers her Sister had) & having a group of friends in the class with her.

Lacey-Jay is a very head strong little girl with a bit of Sass thrown into the mix so needs a lot of direction & routine so the structure of School will also do her well.
She loves her Dolly's ,pretend Play & hanging with Mummy but Mummy will be right here waiting for her to get home each and every single day....
You were ready my Wee Baby Buggy !!!!


I am still so grateful that 

FOR ONE LITTLE GIRL
LACEY-JAY IS SUCH A BIG MIRACLE

Today

we close the door to the past,

open the door to the future,

take a deep breath,

step on through and

Start a new chapter 

in our Life