Growth

MRI after MRI scan to figure whats going on inside this body of mine.
All the while the Anxiety builds up inside and bubbles over as the stress levels get to high.


Its not something i can control & is something very unpleasant indeed.


6 months ago i finally mentioned to Hayden about these acute pains i was having in my right foot to which he convinced me to go to the Dr as some of you no.


Initially they had told me after so many tests that in fact i had a bone Spur, (my body had grown an extra bone in my foot & would require surgery to remove this).


2.5 months ago my left foot became painful but unlike the right foot it was on the outside not in, very puzzling ...


After back in fourth visits with the Specialists at Proserpine Hospital & after all my MRI Scans today i finally got the results for my feet.


3days Ive had this appointment on my mind getting panic stricken & full of worry.


I had a gut instinct things weren't going to be great & it wasn't in fact a bone Spur after all.


I had thought Hayden would be home from work so thought it would be just me in the room with the Specialist, able to absorb what was said and while i walk out to the car to meet the family compose myself and get my game face back on.


 That was until 3days ago when  i re checked the rosters and realized it was in fact me and the 2 girls in tow & even though these appointments have set times the last few visits were 1.5 hours late.


I finally get into the room and Aaliyah decides to full her pants then Lacey-Jay promptly follows suit.


Things swiftly went from bad to worse where Aaliyah tackled the ph, opened & shut the door 500x over & climbed under the chairs over the chairs & in general did everything other than behave!


Once taking her sisters dummy & snuggle rug they both were off on the tangent & by then the Specialist & i were just trying to get the facts out asap.


Truth is i Have Arthritis all through my feet , they are riddled with it & that has caused bones to Fuse together & masses of Fluid inside including huge inflammation.
"Ah so that's why i have all this pain"


So then comes the bone crushing formula.


No exercise, NO walking, No gym!!!! 


I will either have to have both feet in Casts or in Moon boots


There is also something else mixed in with this formula but i cannot even begin to recall the odd word of which has shown up in the MRI,S also but will require a full list of bloods etc from the Rheumatologist first to test for specific things attacking my auto immune system currently.


The damming thing was what he stated next.


"You cannot keep pretending you are not sick, if you are sick with a cold or flu you rest yet with this in your feet and even your hands you carry on carrying on and not helping yourself" to let the inflammation go down what you require is bed rest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


There is a high chance i will end up with more parts in my feet like this.


For my age this is quite odd to have so bad and progressing so fast..


Taking all of this on board i walk out of the hospital BROKEN !!! i needed my Husband hence my post on Facey 


Ive now picked up the pieces & calmly  got back on the train & ready to get on with this thing.


Bedrest isnt an option but i am going to seriously have to limit what im doing for the near future which is going to be a struggle ..


Where is that light at the end of the tunnel??? i don't no but i'm bloody well coming to find it xxxxx